So I smashed quite a bit of work in the space of four days.I missed my anxiety support group meeting on Monday because I was so busy - probably needed it the most that day - but I'm glad I got my work done.
It felt really good and I started to feel like things were picking up. I decided to go to sleep last night because I deserved some rest and some breathing space. Unfortunately, it's pulled me back in motivation and productivity is bad. Haven't been feeling so good today and anxiety kicked in full force. I am starting to worry significantly about having some university work accepted. I should probably contact the lecturer just so I know where I stand exactly.
However, I just got an email concerning the summer scholarship. I have a meeting on the 8th November. It looks like they still have faith in me. Going to find it in myself in the next 10 minutes I hope.
Lana Wachowski
So today I was on Google+ and came across a video posted by a film maker Jack Woon. It was an acceptance speech given by Lana Wachowski for the Human Rights Campaign Invisibility Award. Lana and her brother were behind The Matrix movies amongst others. Lana is very courageous in giving up her civil space for the benefit of others.
It is truly a worthwhile watch. Watching this has brought LGBT issues to the forefront of my consciousness. It invoked a multitude of thoughts for me personally regarding the existing hegemony. According to this political compass, I am an extreme leftist liberal. Like anybody else, I naturally believe that these qualities are logical and the only correct positions. However, I think I am not naive enough to know that my position is truly universal. I would one day like to engage in a debate with others on their positions on this topic. I guess it would be interesting to find out where their basis for their views lie. I could assume, but it is something I need to stop doing.
On a related note and also from Jack Woon - No Homophobe. This website tracks particular words used in everyday language referring homosexuals. Although the usage is not always derogatory, it is amazing to see how people sling these off with ease with little to no backlash. Without a doubt, the ease of which people use these derogatory terms need to change. Even though I have been highly aware of using other more controversial words, I am guilty of using the phrase "no homo" and now feel pretty ashamed. I guess I never was challenged to think about it. Seeing the insane statistics on the No Homophobes website just brought it to perspective.
I think of ways we need to influence a change of social attitude. I sometimes consider being extremely vocal about it, but somehow I think that approach falls on deaf ears - nobody responds to others shoving ideas down their throat, no matter how noble intentions are.
I suppose slowly is the only way to go about it. Such ingrained ideas really move slowly as they leak out of society. People still believe in a whole multitude of complex things in very simplistic or reductive ways e.g. creationism/racial or cultural superiority/binary gender and sexuality. I wish I could see the world in a black and white way, but the more I think and learn about things, the bigger the grey-scale grows. I guess my world is becoming more colourful at the end of the day.
Footnote: It will be weird if a family member finds this blog. I guess this subject is quite touchy for most and can be very polarising. Hopefully we're all mature enough for open dialogue regardless of personal view.
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